Offenbach: Gaite Parisieene

Offenbach: Gaite Parisenne (1962) - Parliament Records

Hello Friends,

Cranking out the classics on another hungover Sunday.

This recording of Jacques Offenbach's 1938 ballet about a wild and crazy night out at some Parisian cafe is waaaaaay too manic for be appropriately dealt with in our current state!

Here's the description of what's going on from the liner notes:

The action of the ballet takes place in an elegant cafe in the course of a single evening. As the curtain rises, waiters are preparing tables for the evening's trade. A dainty flower girl sets up her stand . A half dozen Bohemian students and their blowsy girls clatter... A pretty glove seller sets out her wares. She is followed by a foreigner - a South American - rich, rather pathetic, ready to be fleeced. He tries his luck with the disdainful glove seller, and then hopefully with the flower girl. The cafe grow more crowded. A Austrian baron struts in, his eye wandering to the glove seller; she lets him waltz with her. The South American is so obviously eager to spend money in good company that the girls abandon their student escorts ad oblige him by drinking the champagne that he so generously provides. This pleasant state lasts until a jaunty officer and some soldiers swagger into the cafe. The girls switch allegiance to the soldiers and each dances off with her man. Once more, the South American is alone. His hopes rise momentarily as a glamorous lady in red makes a flashy entrance, but she has a duke in tow... the pointless evening finally fizzes out. To the strains of a barcarolle the clientele departs - the girls with the soldiers, the beauty with the officer, the duke with the flower girl, the baron with the glove seller. As these last two leave, one figure - un-partnered and desolate - watches enviously. It is the South American. The gayety on close examination proves to be merely noise to ward off boredom; the romance is nothing more than greed, vanity, hope of gain, or an effort to avoid loneliness.

Cool, I guess?

RATING: 2.5 sexy glove sellers out of 5

Hi-Fi Holidays: Chansons de Noel

Various Artists - "Chansons de Noel - Christmas Carols of France" (1956) - Vanguard Recording Society

Bonjour Friends,

Here's a record of eighteen very relaxing Christmas Carols direct from France!

Perfect for an afternoon tea in a fancy Parisian hotel like the ones in those Madeline books!

Hey, at least she's not racist like those Tintin books!

For the most part, we have no idea of what they're singing about as its all in French, however because of the generally reverent tone we figure its mostly about Jesus and Shepherds and croissants and stuff.  Pass the baguette please!

Some songs feature a creepy children's choir while others feature a creepy adult choir.

There's also some fancy (albiet creepy) harpsichord and harp playing throughout.

French stuff = creepy stuff.

Also, minus some points for no "Pat-A-Pan".

A gal by the name of Martha Schlamme is featured as a solo vocalist on some songs and she really brings her holiday "A" game.  Schlamme has a very pretty voice and apparently she was a pretty famous singer in Europe until she emigrated to the United States in the late 40's.  This record seems to stand out a little in her repertoire as she made her bones mostly as singer of Yiddish and German folk songs.  Oy vey!

Once in the U.S., Schlamme made a name for herself performing at nightclubs in the Catskills and the "Borscht belt", while finding time to do the occasional Broadway play or television appearance. 

This records makes us go Oui Oui!  (but so do these martinis!) 

RATING: 3.5 bring a torch, Jeannette, Isabel, bring a torch out of 5

Carpenter Brut - "Turbo Killer" (2016)

Hello Friends,

October's here (aka the best month) and you know what that means.

Its time to conjure up some demons and listen to some dark and twisted music.

Here's a song by French electronica artist, Carpenter Brut, whose entire catalog sounds like peak Giorgio Moroder sitting around taking MDMA while immersed in John Carpenter movies. The results are fantastic!  Soundtracks for fucked up movies that don't exist!

This just-as excellent video is directed by Seth Ickerman, who specializes in a John Carpenter-inspired, nostalgic sci-fiction look.  Amazing!

Enjoy!

Some French Dick

Dick Contino with David Carroll and his Orchestra - "An Accordion in Paris" (1956) - Mercury Records

Bonjour Friends,

Dim the lights, light some candles and pop open a bottle of your favorite Bordeaux tonight on Vinyl in the Valley.

We've got the fast and talented fingers of Mr. Dick Contino on the turntable tonight!

Also, we love the album cover!  Seems legit.

RATING: 3.5 strapped on dicks out of 5

Dreams of Love, Hungarian Rhapsodies and Dancing with the Devil!

Franz Liszt - "Liebestraum: Favorite Melodies of Liszt" - 1965 - Columbia Records

Hello Friends,

We're classing things up tonight at the tiki bar!  This record features the magic fingers of French classical pianist, Philippe Entremont, and features some selected works of Hungarian composer Franz Liszt.  So break out the Bulls Blood, because we've got bad case of Lisztomania tonight!

Excellent record for a stormy November evening.  Just a man and his piano playing the 'greatest hits' of the world's first rock star.

Side One
1. Liebestraum (Notturno no. 3)
2. Concert Etude No. 3 in F minor
3. Consolation No. 3
4. Mephisto Waltz

Side Two
1. Concert Etude No. 3 in D-Flat Major
2. Valse Oubliee
3. Hungarian Rhapsody No. 15 ("Rakoczy March")
4. Canzonetta Del Salvator Rosa 
5. Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2

Mephisto Waltz is the album's highlight.  Ten minutes of frantic piano playing that's supposed to be about Faust & Mephisto, the devil himself, passing by a village tavern during a wedding.  Mephisto grabs a fiddle from one of the local musicians and starts playing this intoxicating melody that causes the Faust to grab and dance wildly with some local tramp.  They dance seductively into the night and eventually disappear out of the tavern and into the woods where sinful acts will no doubt follow!   (Editor's Note: Coincidentally, this is how Tiki T. and I met!)   

Plus, speaking of hotties, who doesn't love a sexy brunette looking over her shoulder while in a fainting chair? Too bad she's dressed like a Mennonite!

RATING: 4.5 servings of chicken paprikash out of 5

6 Days of Xmas: "Christmas Music of France" (1967)

Jean Paul-Kreder Choir & Les Petits Chanteurs A La Croix de Bois - "Christmas Music of France" - 1967 - Capitol Records

Bonjour Friends,

"This one has your name on it!"
(Bunny Yeager)

A little disappointed here.  We were hoping for a record full of bustling Parisian street music with lots of accordions,  jazzy, nightclub ballads and general yuletide debauchery.  I went to whip up some French 75's while Tiki T. went to slip on something more "comfortable"!  

Cue the Can-Can girls!

We put on the record and instead of some swinging, sleazy album of Christmas tunes sung in French, we got a very tame, unsexy album of French choral music.  In an instant, our romantic corner of the tiki transformed into a Medieval French Cathedral!

Cancel the Can-Can girls!

Don't worry friends, we made the best of it!  We lit some candles, drank some strong red wine and enjoyed a quiet, reverential night.  Plus, for some reason, Tiki T. knew all the words (in French) to "Il Est Ne Le Divin Enfant" which kind of turned me on!

Oui! Oui!

RATING: 3.5 Petit Papa Noels out of 5

     

Fall's here!

Ferrante & Teicher - "Autumn Leaves" (1966) - ABC-Paramount

Hello friends,

On the turntable tonight we're celebrating the Autumnal Equinox with the dueling piano stylings of Mr. Arthur Ferrante and Mr. Louis Teicher!

This 1966 release is actually a re-release of an earlier LP, Postcards from Paris (1962).  Its solid and schmaltzy, with a definite French flair, but not a lot in the way of exotic arrangements or weird experimentation like on their earlier records.

Their version of the title track, "Autumn Leaves" makes me wish they covered the sad walking away music from the 1980's "Incredible Hulk" television show! 

RATING: 4 Bruce Banners out of 5

Tiki Tips: The French 75

"I am ze locksmith of love, no?"

Ah, the French 75! 

Try to find something with more class and sophistication (certainly not me at 1 AM on a Saturday!).

Pair this cocktail with a Yves Montand record and voila!  Paris in a pinch!

Muddle a sugar cube and fresh lemon juice in the bottom of a champagne glass.
Add gin and your favorite champagne.

Known in France as the "Soixante Quinze", this drink is lauded in the Savoy Cocktail Book as "hitting with remarkable precision".  If they mean my head against the wall, then correct they are!

XO,
-Tiki T.

Viva La Creep!

Formidable???

France's Formidable Yves Montand (1959)

Bonjour Friends!

Hope your passports are up to date because tonight we're drinking Bordeaux, eating stinky cheese and getting lost on the winding streets of Paris, France.

Actually, we're not going anywhere.  We're dimming the lights, cracking open a box of our finest Burgundy and listening to France's Formidable (oxymoron?) Yves Montand on the ol' turntable.   This pre-60's French Pop music is downright sleazy.  I have no idea what the fuck he's singing about but it all sounds so dirty.  Its like every song is about playing grab ass with your sister or sleeping with your wife!  Hey, keep your hands off her you creep!

"Did you put something in my drink?"
"Oui."

In addition to a pretty successful recording and movie career, Montand is also famous for banging Marilyn Monroe while filming the movie, Lets Make Love.  I guess he took that title literally!  What a creep!!! 

RATING: 3.5 Freedom Fries out of a possible 5

Music from The Valley

Obscured by Clouds was Pink Floyd's last album before the immensely successful, Dark Side of the Moon.  Its a soundtrack record to the Barbet Schroeder film, La Vallee-- a trippy little film about an upper-class French woman who gets knocked down a few notches when she gets lost in the primeval jungles of Papua New Guinea. 

The movie is missable, but this soundtrack LP is tops!

Half the songs are instrumentals.  Short, straight-forward rock'n'roll instrumentals, nothing too long or too weird or too proggy.

The songs with vocals are equally as accessible.   David Gilmour's "Wot's...uh the Deal?" and "The Gold its in the..." are standouts.  As is Roger Waters's "Free Four"-- in which he starts exploring some Daddy-issues and other dark motifs that would become a running theme throughout Pink Floyd's later, much more famous works.

I guess one of the best things you can say about this album is that it really doesn't sound like Pink Floyd at all. 



RATING: 4.5 New Guinean cannibals out of a possible 5.